Paul Bunyan’s Cat
Have you heard about Paul Bunyan’s Cat? That’s one tall tail.
Paul Bunyan was a fabled American lumberjack giant that had an equally giant blue ox named (inexplicably) “Babe.” This ox was so big that “42 axe handles plus a plug of tobacco could fit between his eyes and it took a murder of crows a whole day to fly from one horn to the other.”(source) What inventive measurement systems we had in the old days! Babe, the giant blue ox, was industrious and helpful to Paul, but I imagine a giant horned cat would be a terrifying menace to everyone. You can’t reason with a monster like that; it would bat humans around like so many sparkly feathered mouse toys. My cats have little respect for me even though I am way bigger than them. Only Shisa, my ex-feral, seems impressed by my lumbering, oafish stature, and will actively move out of the way if I come barreling toward her. Sephiroth, however, will plant herself firmly in my path and expect me to move around her. I can’t imagine how brutish she would behave if she were several stories tall and armed with horns.